Fighting the past or living in the now.

I watched a British doco about the multi millionaire divorce cases in the UK. How the new laws implemented in 2000 means that the wealth accumulated within the marriage is 50/50. It was annoying and sad particularly of one woman’s endurance to fight for what she believed she was entitled to for ten years. Even after her ex-husband was supposedly killed by the Russians, she was still determined to find these millions.

What I was conscious of was that this woman spent ten years fighting the past. I truly understood where she was at and surprisingly too much rang true. Off shore accounts, him declaring no income, hiding behind trusts, the betrayal to her and her children. Not being able to refer to him by his christian name as it personalised him too much. The huge legal fees & interest that crippled her…

I had respect for the other woman who settled for a pittance of what she was entitled to, purely so she would not be giving it all to the lawyers and move on with her life. Although she was personally rich so she continued with her lifestyle which would have made the decision easier.

I could understand both women’s positions and I believe it’s necessary to remain looking at it objectively without emotion.To think of it as a business deal to tidy up. (Which is well and good to say but then my mind says to myself, but where are your diaries from before him, your photos before him, my books, my things that I never got to pack from my home! See it still pisses me off that he feels entitled to keep my things, just cause he’s a controlling arse.)

The way I have managed this period has not been an obvious path that was laid out and no-one ever explained the way it could go, shit it’s been like a twisted thriller that shocked me at every turn. No one could have known what to expect. Thank god my parents and my new man have given me daily advice through every curve ball.

I have realised recently how much it runs through my mind and I’m trying to figure out where to file it so it’s not at the forefront of my mind. It doesn’t make sense keeping it running through my mind. I see how quickly the children are growing and each day with fresh moments & memories happening around me. I don’t want to look up and think “Oh I wasn’t focused on the the now, I missed that part’.

I will keep on challenging myself to be the best version I can be of me. I’ll make sure I don’t allow this aspect of my life define me, or monopolise my new life I have created. I’ll make sure I stretch my comfort zones to create more opportunities and keep smiling.

“Live in the now and look forward to the wonderful things that are still to come.”

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Manscaping

Google states that manscaping is “the removal or trimming of hair on a man’s body for cosmetic effect.” Although simplified, hair control is the essential component of manscaping, although the definition could be expanded to include other grooming tasks.

It’s a must! Yes men, if your woman is to go down and take pleasure in the delight of licking your balls, sucking your cock, licking the sides and taking it in her throat, with her lips around your shaft and going back down, we do not want to meet a forest on the way!

Fact. Enough said.

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Walking into the lions den. Except now I am the lion.

I tend not to vent my feelings about the legal complications of my life to my friends. Each situation feels extremely significant to me. If I was to explain each case matter and crazy issue, which sounds like it’s from … Continue reading

Not all relationships are meant to last forever

I chose to leave a twenty year relationship. I’m now in my fourth year from when I had to leave and the intensity of my battle is not over. I realised yesterday I’m feeling angry for I still don’t have … Continue reading

Making rules

I was at a luncheon with women yesterday, beautiful, successful and elegant women, mostly married with children. The kind of lunch I shy away from like the coffee groups I didn’t go to. It was held for a girlfriends birthday … Continue reading

Like you’re being filmed

Sex is a wonderful aspect of life. For men it is way of connecting with the woman he knows. Lack of physical connection makes him distance himself from you. For woman it is the thermometer for turning winter into spring. Being great in bed does this keep a relationship strong? Does it keep your man?
Have an orgasm everyday, fantasize, be sexually aroused. These are good things in life. No they don’t have to be spoken of but don’t shy away from the thought that it is not important. My father said to me when I was young as he spoke of his relationship with his first wife, we were in the drive way as we said good night to some friends. (He was speaking of his first wife) he said “sex is not the most important aspect of a relationship but it’s in trouble if it’s not there.”

Treat it lightly, have fun with it. How enjoyable for him to be away from you and think of the fun he had.

take the moment

take the moment

Ruby Jane’s contribution to life

definition of my blog: noun, adverb, to express – To be able to express your thoughts and your opinion without the thought of it being analysed to reflect your daily life in the world you live. To express oneself in … Continue reading