MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD: Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a … Continue reading
Tag Archives: marriage
Selfless – Enhances self
True Self-interest teaches selflessness. Heaven and earth endure because they are not simply selfish but exist on behalf of all creation. The wise leader, knowing this, keeps egocentricity in check and by doing so becomes even more effective. Enlightened leadership … Continue reading
I was at a luncheon with women yesterday, beautiful, successful and elegant women, mostly married with children. The kind of lunch I shy away from like the coffee groups I didn’t go to. It was held for a girlfriends birthday … Continue reading
being all to everyone
Women have five pillars of strength Lover – wife – mother – friend – family Accomplishing all these roles well with grace, kindness, passion & humor is challenging. Meeting expectations of yourself and others plays in one’s mind. A male … Continue reading
our roles in life
Woman have many roles to fill, until we are over full in most cases. Oh to be all things to everybody. What a wonderful overwhelming accomplishment to consider.
I know in life I am these things – a wife- a lover (to my husband) – a mother – a friend – a family member – a career woman – heart of the home-
Many roles to find that balance to do it well in each category, fairly and to the best of your ability. Ensuring it is done in the way that makes you true to yourself. Serving those you love. I pause on the last sentence as we are woman that have evolved and now have the same powers of man?? – another subject another time.
My mother once apologized to me for all her freedom she fought for as woman in the 60’s. She stood by what they achieved but she felt in doing so it meant her daughters had so many more expectations and roles to fill in life.
I appreciate the traditional roles of woman in the home and as a mother. These are so important. I must say at this stage I do have a husband that is significantly more capable than most men and contributes to domestic tasks on a daily basis. I love it when he asks from the office what I was thinking of for dinner, then he says that sounds good I’ll cook tonight and shall we invite some friends. He loves to entertain and he will usually be the proud chef and also produce an earlier meal for all the children that come in tow. Then as I make a salad and dessert while he preps the main, a gin n tonic will be shaken not stirred and put beside me. It’s a sexy time to be in the kitchen together.
My husband is overseas currently, so alas I must pause to go and make roast lamb ribs for my children and watch the sun go down. I’ll pick up when the evening progresses….
I take on a lot of responsibility to manage maintaining my high level of personal expectations in my roles, some better than others. I feel my home is like my office desk was in my 20’s. If it’s clean and in tidy it reflects my clarity of mind. I like the simple feeling that it is in order and also being proud of my home because it’s important to me. Then as a mother I love having lots of children and their friends running around playing, so there lies a balance. Don’t get me wrong each day has it’s own story to figure out. I hope I laugh enough through it and my children remember me playing with them, not only doing everything.
Aside from home and parenting it is really vital to remember to be the woman that married that guy you really liked. I see so many women forgetting who they were before they became a mother. I think husbands must miss them, but how can they bring that up in conversation?
The conversation a woman has needs to be more than that of speaking to other mothers about the details of the child. Don’t get me wrong oh it’s a wonderful perhaps the greatest time in life to have children. But again you still have other roles to full, being a fun enjoyable companion to your partner. Giving some time to yourself somewhere too.
I found the expectation of completing a financial spreadsheet in only a few weeks of giving birth to be very overwhelming frustrating and an upsetting request. It was not where my mind was nor where I wanted it to be. The resentment of having to focus on this was awful. Sleep deprivation and looking after my new born was all that I wanted.
I remember walking down the beach with my 9mth old in the mountain buggy previously worrying about completing my tax return for my company and in the wake of 9/11 the concerned paled that day to real worries.
I have ‘tips’ to contribute to each of the roles -pillars of a woman. I am not superwoman but I have a honest balanced view on how to manage, endeavor to get through in a fun dignified way. Think of it as the woman of today on life’s journey.
more, lots more to come…
Like you’re being filmed
Sex is a wonderful aspect of life. For men it is way of connecting with the woman he knows. Lack of physical connection makes him distance himself from you. For woman it is the thermometer for turning winter into spring. Being great in bed does this keep a relationship strong? Does it keep your man?
Have an orgasm everyday, fantasise, be sexually aroused. These are good things in life. No they don’t have to be spoken of but don’t shy away from the thought that it is not important. My father said to me when I was young as he spoke of his relationship with his first wife, we were in the drive way as we said good night to some friends. (He was speaking of his first wife) he said “sex is not the most important aspect of a relationship but it’s in trouble if it’s not there.”
Treat it lightly, have fun with it. How enjoyable for him to be away from you and think of the fun he had.