Where we live looks out to the city harbour of a small city and further out to the ocean. Our bedroom is upstairs and the view is magnificent. The vast sea view is divided by a causeway which links two … Continue reading
I always felt you should just say how old you are. If you have done something significant for every year, then you should feel proud of your time and accomplishments. Now that my age is progressing and I can see … Continue reading
A couple I have known for quite a few years are at the early stage of separating. He’s furious, jealous and out to take her down. He’s making it feel it’s all her fault and she should suffer. She’s being … Continue reading
Life is amazing in each of our worlds, what we achieve on a daily basis with the pure intention of doing the best you can and remaining positive, funny, honest and true to ones self is a measurable value. Know … Continue reading
No matter what period in history, men always want to admire, enjoy and appreciate beauty. A beautiful woman is wanted by men like a man admires a beautiful painting. Men see a stunning woman and they want her to be … Continue reading
Often when you hear about women in abusive relationships, people think why would you stay if you knew it was bad. If he hits you, get out, walk away and never consider you deserved it and never should someone justify … Continue reading
Signs Of Emotional Abuse The abuser doesn’t seem to notice or care about your feelings. You are viewed as an extension of the abuser rather than as an individual. Personal information about you is shared with others. The abuser invalidates … Continue reading
MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD: Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a … Continue reading
I watched a British doco about the multi millionaire divorce cases in the UK. How the new laws implemented in 2000 means that the wealth accumulated within the marriage is 50/50. It was annoying and sad particularly of one woman’s endurance to fight for what she believed she was entitled to for ten years. Even after her ex-husband was supposedly killed by the Russians, she was still determined to find these millions.
What I was conscious of was that this woman spent ten years fighting the past. I truly understood where she was at and surprisingly too much rang true. Off shore accounts, him declaring no income, hiding behind trusts, the betrayal to her and her children. Not being able to refer to him by his christian name as it personalised him too much. The huge legal fees & interest that crippled her…
I had respect for the other woman who settled for a pittance of what she was entitled to, purely so she would not be giving it all to the lawyers and move on with her life. Although she was personally rich so she continued with her lifestyle which would have made the decision easier.
I could understand both women’s positions and I believe it’s necessary to remain looking at it objectively without emotion.To think of it as a business deal to tidy up. (Which is well and good to say but then my mind says to myself, but where are your diaries from before him, your photos before him, my books, my things that I never got to pack from my home! See it still pisses me off that he feels entitled to keep my things, just cause he’s a controlling arse.)
The way I have managed this period has not been an obvious path that was laid out and no-one ever explained the way it could go, shit it’s been like a twisted thriller that shocked me at every turn. No one could have known what to expect. Thank god my parents and my new man have given me daily advice through every curve ball.
I have realised recently how much it runs through my mind and I’m trying to figure out where to file it so it’s not at the forefront of my mind. It doesn’t make sense keeping it running through my mind. I see how quickly the children are growing and each day with fresh moments & memories happening around me. I don’t want to look up and think “Oh I wasn’t focused on the the now, I missed that part’.
I will keep on challenging myself to be the best version I can be of me. I’ll make sure I don’t allow this aspect of my life define me, or monopolise my new life I have created. I’ll make sure I stretch my comfort zones to create more opportunities and keep smiling.
“Live in the now and look forward to the wonderful things that are still to come.”