40 Signs of emotional abuse

Signs Of Emotional Abuse

  1. The abuser doesn’t seem to notice or care about your feelings.
  2. You are viewed as an extension of the abuser rather than as an individual.
  3. Personal information about you is shared with others.
  4. The abuser invalidates or denies their emotionally abusive behaviour when confronted.
  5. Subtle threats or negative remarks are made to you with the intent to frighten or control you.
  6. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.
  7. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.
  8. They don’t show you empathy or compassion.
  9. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get your attention or attain what they want.
  10. You are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.
  11. They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under                their breath.
  12. They blame you for their problems, life’s difficulties, or unhappiness.
  13. They repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.
  14. Abusers make excuses for their behaviour, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologising.
  15. They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.
  16. They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can’t tolerate others laughing at them.
  17. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.
  18. They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.
  19. They belittle and trivialise you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.
  20. They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.
  21. They try to control the finances and how you spend money.
  22. You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.
  23. They correct or chastise you for your behaviour in an uncaring manner.
  24. You are controlled and treated like a child.
  25. You are accused of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.
  26. They accuse or blame you for things you know aren’t true.
  27. Your ideas, suggestions, or needs, or opinions are regularly demeaned or disregarded.
  28. An emotional abuser doesn’t want to hear about your pain, except to reinforce that you deserve whatever pain you feel. That you’ve brought it on yourself, or that it’s your deserved destiny to feel bad about yourself.
  29. They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.
  30. Sex is withheld from you as a way to manipulate and control you.
  31. They deliberately lie to you to confuse you and make you doubt your perceptions.
  32. Some will threaten to leave you – and blame that choice on you.
  33. Some will threaten to hurt or even kill themselves – and blame that choice on you.
  34. The abuser takes no responsibility for their own choices, while wholly putting the blame of their own pain or misfortune on you.
  35. They will argue and wear you down until you don’t trust what you know is true.
  36. They will attack your clarity, your ability to tell right from wrong
  37. Sometimes they will straight out deny what you saw.
  38. You’ll constantly feel guilty in your relationship, but you don’t really know why.
  39. Abusers try to make you feel worthless, with the hope of making you more dependent on them.
  40. They insult and put you down both in private and in front of others as a method of eroding your self-esteem.


If this is your life, you need to get out!




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