I chose to leave a twenty year relationship. I’m now in my fourth year from when I had to leave and the intensity of my battle is not over. I realised yesterday I’m feeling angry for I still don’t have my personal effects, my diaries from my early 20’s, a collection of books my brother gave me, photographs of my life, a white framed mirror….. he is so revengeful it will satisfy his insanity that he keeps what’s important to me.
I realise that I can view this relationship with all that is was. The adventures, the family we made, the home life we enjoyed. Yes there was good memories and we had great times, otherwise why would I have endured the complicated parts.
And it was the right thing to say enough, I’m done. I gave it my all, enjoyed loved, recognised his insanity, I grew stronger and I left. It was the right decision to make this choice for my children and for me. He had changed, his darkness was unavoidable and I would have been a fool to have remained a victim to his nature.
It’s a tough realisation to measure what I thought was truly good, and I held this belief for many years, to then recognise it’s poisonous and he’s truly awful. What’s being surprising is the unrelenting behaviour he has continued with since I left. Leaving doesn’t actually get rid of him.
‘Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals or self-worth’ anonymous