By creating your self definition
This comes from within you, not others views, observations or judgement.
Your values represent who you are?
My values are to be brave, funny, smart, honest, caring, beautiful, thoughtful, calm and considerate. It’s hard to focus on but unless you identify, be conscious of your values and stay true to them you will not feel defined. Encourage them, enhance these within your life. Then these values will grow and they will blossom to be the essence of what and who you want to be. The discovery of Self knowledge.
Take these core values to develop while you wash away the negative thoughts, don’t dwell or give energy to what is not truly where you want to be. Position yourself in a positive way, focus on the good. Tell your story about the wonderful moments, the funny times, the challenging parts where you rose to express the values that endear you. Even though your natural instinct is to move back, step forward, challenge that moment and smile. Then say your peace and move past the path that complicates life. Define yourself in a positive way. This is your life, your story, your time make it want you want. Experiences give you knowledge, you will continue to be a better person if you consciously become aware that it’s within your power. You are always the one that defines who you are. Now decide what defines you.